Bad Vegetarian

There are a couple of ways to be vegetarian, a good way, and a bad way. To this point, I have done it the good way. I have eaten vegetables, hearty whole grains, beans, lentils; I have avoided fried foods and ridiculous amounts of cheese.

All that changed this weekend, when I was "the bad vegetarian."

It actually started last Thursday. We ordered pizza in for lunch at work since we had a training. And just like that it spiraled out of control. I had the pizza, afterall, I had to eat, right? I knew I was going to our monthly wine night with my friends - there is a theme and we all bring food and wine to match the region. I knew my food options would be limited since it is all carnivores, so I felt the pizza warranted.

Then, it was Friday. I was getting ready to eat the rest of my leftover kale chips and quinoa that I had brought in on Wednesday, and I walked in the kitchen at work, and saw it. Someone had put the leftover pizza out. I didn't eat breakfast, and pizza sounded so much better than what I had in the queue. So, I ate some leftover pizza. It was like running the gauntlet of tempation on Friday. As I walked back to my office from our kitchen area, I passed by the corner of death - the place where all of our printers reside, but what is also the place where sweets go to die. People have leftover anything, it goes right next to the printers. It was the scene of the crime for the previous cupcake misadventure.. And there they were. An entire tray of Magnolia cupcakes, sitting there.

As previously cited, cupcakes are my kryptonite. I've always considered myself a "meat and potatoes" kind of girl, but I can't resist a good cupcake. In my delusional and weak mind, I was like, "Well, I already had the pizza, so this day has gone to shit." Both as far as watching what I eat, and trying to eat vegan. So, I had the caramel cupcake (and had I saw the red velvet one, I would've had that). Again, I had the buyer's remorse, and again I felt like complete crap. Why, oh why, can't I learn from my past mistakes!

So after the pizza, and the cupcake debacle, I had a suprise party to go to. I had to go straight from walking the dogs to get there before the man of honor did. I didn't eat. And guess what they had? Pizza and wings. While the wings, possibly one of my favorite foods ever, residing right above cupcakes on the scale of things I can not resist, did tempt me, I stood my ground. But there, I was back at the pizza. Pizza for 3 of 4 meals in two days. Sometimes I ask myself, why can't I lose weight. Well, I think we all have the answer.

I drank a lot of beer, but didn't eat a lot, and woke up feeling tired and groggy. I went to the corner store (which, I refer to all corner stores as "carry-outs" which a lot of people think I am ridiculous for, is this not normal? Do other people not call corner stores, "carry outs"? I digress, as this is not on point here, but it's very concerning to me), and guess what I got to eat? A cheese pizza. So at this point, I am 48 hours, and for 4 of 5 meals I have eaten pizza. The shame in writing this is lingering.

As if this was not enough, for dinner, Jeff decided he wanted alfredo pasta, and who was I to argue against this in the 3 day binge I was working on (which was literally about to be a 4-5 day binge when all was said and done). So we had a mushroom and alfredo pasta. It was tasty. It was not vegan. I drank an entire bottle of wine, while watching Season 1 of The Walking Dead. (FYI, I don't like scary things. I don't like zombies. But this show is legitimately, the shit.) I felt like the walking dead myself. Fitting.

Sunday did not get any better. I had the leftover pasta for lunch, and for dinner, Jeff and I had a weird mix of fingerling potatoes and bok choy in an asian marinade that needed to be cooked. Random, I know, but after all the crap I had over the past few days, I was in a food coma already. Jeff suggested one of the vegan cinnamon rolls he ordered from Cinnaholic, and who was I to say no to the sweetness that was the caramel frosting he ordered in addition to the big tub of regular icing.

My food coma lasted through Monday, which I had off due to President's day. I did not eat all day (sans the mimosa I had at the bar when I stopped in on my way to meetup with my friends) until I went shopping with my pals at Costco around 3pm, at that point it was blantantly obvious I needed food as I wanted to ravage all the samples. It also seemed like it was vegetarian sample day - I had samples of: salsa and chips, feta cheese, and a cheese and rice burrito. I also purchased $265 dollars worth of good stuff, which I will speak to in my next post.

I got home, and said, f*ck it. I mean, I might as well end the long weekend with a bang. I made half a package of cheese tortellini, roasted my own garlic and tomatoes with olive oil in the oven to make a tomato sauce, roasted up some brussel sprouts, and called it a day. This, and the potato/bok choy meal, were probably the healthiest things I had since Thursday. Not the first time, or the last I'm sure of it, I felt ashamed, disgusted, gross...

I'm bringing my leftover brussel sprouts, kale, and quinoa for lunch tomorrow, and a grapefruit for breakfast. The dark side called my name for a little while, but its time to get back on the wagon. I hope its a little while until I am this "bad" of a vegetarian again. Please god, keep the f'in cupcakes away from the printer!